Growing up we learn to relate to friends , family members and colleagues but nowadays we rarely have appropriate role models from which to learn ‘healthy intimate relationships.’ Partners in couples therapy can understand what makes a partnership fulfilling, and where they can strengthen their partnership.
Just feel comfortable with your therapist
It’s important to feel comfortable with your therapist as a couple, whether it’s a woman, a man, or a ‘couple therapy.’ Give your therapist a few sessions to feel if you, your partner and the way the therapist works with you are in good fit.If you wish to learn more about couples therapy,read this article.
What should I expect
Coaches and therapists typically adopt various ideas of pair therapy counsellors. What you can expect is for your therapist to inquire about the past of your relationship and explain how you came together as a couple and what your struggles were along the way. They will also take up your personal history including some details about your family of origin to see if there are patterns repeating themselves in your family history.
Person sessions-pairs sessions
Personally I considered a combination of couples and individual sessions to work best. There are potentially secret personal problems in all couple issues which the partner triggers. These personal issues arise as an invitation to be addressed and it is sometimes better for the individual to work through them in their own space and time.
In a couple session I found that couples tend to listen better to their partner when told first to listen and then talk, rather than respond immediately. This structure often helps them to express themselves fully within the therapy’s safe environment, and to actively listen with patience and keep reactivity low on the other side.
Using the doctor wisely
I recommend to my clients as a couple therapist that they want to use my time wisely. They don’t need to go into counseling to pay me to watch them experience the same problems as they do at home. This time it is best to think about the underlying causes and processes leading to the war. Refer to my other article ‘Therapy Couples-Can Save Your Relationship! ‘For more details.
Ask for expert help
If you wondered if couple therapy is for you then try it out. High reactivity is almost inevitable as emotions fly. Occasionally, all your efforts may not be enough to shift the habits in which you and your partner got themselves. If you haven’t found the courage to seek help yet it’s time to do it now.
Want to know more? Check out my blog here.
Nathalie Himmelrich is the operator on Sydney’s Northern Beaches of ‘Aim for Sky Therapy’ and specializes in ‘relationship related issues.’ She deals with individuals and couples using methods that range from counselling, neuro-linguistic training and travel therapy. In a supportive and competent climate, she helps the clients in their personal development.